My Drug Addiction

Scripture
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain
A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away
A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

My Drug Addiction
Yes, I was very addicted to Oxycotin. (Medics compare Oxy to a high grade Heroin,and the effects are much the same. The drug is used for chronic long term pain).Let me explain my story a little further for those of you that do not know it.In 2005 I was diagnosed with a muscle wasting disease. The byproduct of this diseasewas amazing pain. When the disease first hit and I was confused and scared, I rememberworking the late shift, coming home, crying in the car ride home. Finally parkingthe car, pulling myself out, and crawling, literally crawling, up the stairs to park myself on the couch to curl up in my wife's arms.

Due to this extreme pain my doctors started to prescribe pain killers. If you arefamiliar with pain killers, your body will develop a tolerance to the current levelso you have to keep on upping and upping the level. My current level in July of this year, was 240 mgs of Oxycotin. This was equivalent to a whopping 48 Percocets a DAY!

The first of July, I felt God telling me that I did not need these painkillers, and that for what He had planned for me, these were going to get in the way. So,I started the journey to getting off the Oxys. I have to tell you, this is/was the hardest thing that I have ever done!

The first week It felt like I had spiders crawling inside my body and head. I couldnot sit still, I was nauseous, my muscles ached, could not sleep unless I had mytapered amount of the drug, I said to myself "This is what hell must be like." During the last part of my taper it felt like I had the WORST flu ever. It hurt just to take a breath. My heart felt like I just drank 3 large Monsters energy drinks.I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest, and I still could not sleep.But, I beat it, I took my last Oxy 3 days ago, I am not done with my withdrawals,but every minute, hour, and day I am getting better.

You might be asking "Why are you telling me this?" Well, let me tell you :) WhenI was going through this season, I cried out to God, and yelled, Take this away from me." I know that you can, and I know that you love me, so please make me better!But, as I said this, I thought to myself that if every time I cry out to God, andHe showed up and granted every cry, He would not be GOD, he would be some cosmicgenie. Plus, if He granted every wish that we had, this would not be a fallen earth,it would be heaven, as we would want to make every situation perfect for us.
Take a moment to read the scripture on the left, this was written by King Solomon,by God's grace, the wisest man that ever lived. King Solomon says that there areseasons for everything; a time to heal, a time to weep, and a time to laugh. You ARE going to go though all these seasons in your life, it is a fact of being human,and engaging with others.

The happy seasons are wonderful. But, what about the weeping and healing? What isyour posture? Do you try and get out of the situation as soon as you can? Do youcry to God, and when He doesn't answer, you label God mean and uncaring?

God KNOWS you are there, and cares about you so much. He is allowing you to go throughthis season for some purpose that you may not know until much later in life. So,instead of focusing on "GET ME OUT OF HERE" focus on Christ, and His love, He isstill there. Maybe, He will show you a new side of you, one you never knew you had,a new strength.

I can tell you that the withdrawal off Oxy's was the hardest thing I have done, and I am still not done yet. BUT, since going through that season, I have a new heart for people that are going through a similar season. And I KNOW that God isgoing to place people in my life that I can help and love. :)
Have a great week in Jesus! - Jim
http://www.gods411.com